Lacking..

Ok detox peeps..I've been crazy busy with a deadline at work, kids and germs, life, etc. So, of course the blog too a huge backseat to everything else...ok, worse than backseat..it took more like a leash tied to the bumper kinda ride.

At any rate, I'm still here. Still plugging away at this whole detox thing. I've done quite a bit of regrouping with the whole "whole eating" thing however. This detox and subsequently..tons of research has led me down a few different paths. One..I'm definitely looking at sugar differently..and two, I've opened my "give a shit" eyes for a bit of a hibernation and three, I've found my willpower again too.
This detox has also taught me that not every "detox" or different way of eating is for everyone. Duh. We're all individuals. And with that being said..this detox isn't something that works best for this girl..being a vegetarian is something that I love. But being a vegetarian on this type of eating plan....is not. I'm all for trying new things, I love learning new things, I love love love researching (I'm a google-addict) and finding new information on how to be healthier, make my body better for the many years ahead, etc. What I don't love is relying on eggs (whole ones at that), almond butter, cheese and nuts and a few beans here and there for my sole protein intake. I'm a soy eater. There's no way around that. Its versatile, comes in many forms and it's just something that I love. I'm definitely a legume consumer as well...and more than just 1/2 cup a day too. Making a fantastic meal of various veggies (raw, stir-fried, roasted or steamed) and then having to pair it with eggs or a side of almond butter..just isn't something that appeals to me. It downright sucks ass, to put it bluntly.
I love cooking (I love baking more, but that's besides the point!) I love making vegetarian meals from scratch. I make killer jalapeno cheddar lentil burgers, awesome spicy chinese barbecue tempeh, etc. Not all of this can be done within the restrictions of the detox yes/no list. 

So..with that..I'm not saying that I'm "quitting" the detox, but I'm altering it to fit me and my life. Which seems that most people are doing at some point during the detox. It makes me happy to see that people are opening their eyes to different things and then realizing that changes can and need to be made to continue on in a way that suits them and still keeping in mind the reason that they started a challenge like this in the first place. Could I continue on with the detox as written in the program manual? Yes. Do I think that it's right for me? No. I don't think that eating as many eggs as I have over the past 15 days is healthy. Yes, I'm aware of the whole egg/heart healthy/unhealthy back and forth argument. But, everything in moderation..and the way that this plan is set up for vegetarians..hasn't given me much moderation in the egg department. Will I ever eat whole eggs again? Maybe. Will I eat eggs every single day of the week, sometimes twice in one day due to lack of protein options? No way. I have eaten more whole eggs in these past few weeks than I have in the past few years..I can't really remember a time that I ate whole eggs before this detox started. I'm glad that I researched on the reasons why whole eggs are good for you. It's definitely changed my mind a bit about eating them. My mind has also been opened up to new and different fats which is great too. All of these things I've learned and re-learned are great for future recipe ideas and to just keep in mind for benefiting my body. (I'm excited for the kids to try the avocado/banana mousse soon too!)

Ok..I've made this long winded enough. More to come!

Sweet dreams!

Warning: This blog entry is whiny.

I WANT MY CHOCOLATE SOYMILK AND I WANT IT NOW!!!

I miss my 8th Continent Light Chocolate Soymilk..it's the one thing that I seriously, seriously miss every single day..multiple times a day..all day. I want it..NOW.

I feel like Veruca Salt from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory--all whiny and complaining and stomping around spouting off all the things she wants. That's me. Except, I'm not a wealthy, spoiled British child who is an heiress to a large legume conglomerate..which is all fictional. Nope, I'm a 30yr old woman, living in the United States of America. A mom of 3 children, ages 9, 7 & almost 4. And the 4yr old actually has quite a few characteristics relateable Veruca now that I think about it. I'm a stay-at-home mom, who just recently started working part-time for a local family/parent/child magazine doing social media stuff. I'm a military wife. I'm the exact opposite of the definition of spoiled. 
So..yeah. If act a bit "Veruca-like" in regards to chocolate soymilk..well..tough mutha-effin' shit. It's not like YOU can hear me whining about it. Be thankful for that, at least. :) 

Rant over. Thanks for listening. And you're welcome for a little background on yours truly. Any further questions please pass them along to my assistant..who like Veruca Salt, is also fictional.

That is all. Proceed with your day.

One week and a day..

The sugar monster is still here. One week and one day later..she's still here. I'm hesitant to say that she's shrinking..but I think she is. She's still there..for sure. But she's gotten a bit smaller. 

If I take nothing else from this experience, I know that I will take the appreciation for simple, whole foods that taste amazing and are good for my body. I knew that before I started this challenge, but I have lost sight of it along with my willpower. But both are back and that's what I was mostly looking to get from this. I do have WILLPOWER. I DO. I can do something if I really want to. I really like all the things that I'm reading and experiencing by eating "good fats" and changing my way of thinking about other things that I have been eating up until recently. I love researching, googling and finding out new information and searching for what I hope are common/correct/unbiased answers. Yes, I have my own opinions about cutting certain foods out of your diet permanently. I could take a whole blog to talk about that..maybe another time. But at this point, 21 days is enough for me. I'm shocked that I've survived 8. I'm doing research to find out what happens after this..will I completely change my way of eating and my "relationship" with sugar? The sugar part---yes. I want to attempt a different way of approaching my sugar intake. I know that it's not realistic for me to completely cut it out of my life for good. It's just not going to happen. What will happen is I will be taking in natural sugars as opposed to chemically made fake sugars. I want to alter my baking recipes to that style as well. I've already cut out and made sure that my diet is free of any bleached flour. That is thanks to my wonderful friend, Sheila Rae, owner of Bizzy Lizzy Flourless Bakery. If you haven't heard of them--you NEED to! She's on Facebook, Twitter and has an awesome new, revamped website: flourlessbizzylizzy.com & Bizzy Lizzy Bakery (on Facebook) Trust me--you won't be sorry. 

Anyway, I've let this blog get a bit long winded and not really focused on the "present" days events. I tend to do that sometimes. I look at the bigger picture instead of what's going on right in front of me. I guess that's the Pisces in me..a daydreamer at times.

The past few days have been ok. I'm still struggling with the whole protein thing. I'm not struggling to get enough, it just sucked that I can eat a wonderful veggie dish (like my fake fettuccine) but then have to find a protein source to eat with it also since soy isn't allowed. Yeah, sprinkling cheese on top is fine and I know certain vegetables have protein in them as well..but it's just not the same. It's not (in my head) a complete dinner or meal like I've seen quite a few of you post pictures of. That's ok for now. I know it's not forever. I know that my "fake fettuccine" is going to be added to my dinner repertoire...along with some fantastic tempeh or some type of suitable vegetarian protein.

I'm finding that the green apples are a bit sweeter and less tart than I remember..I'm a Pink Lady apple lover. But I think the ones that I've been getting lately aren't as sour as some that I've eaten in the past--this is also according to my husband who is a die-hard Granny Smith apple eater. 

I also have found that I get a bit of a tummy ache from having a few bites of a banana. This isn't cool. I really like bananas. I used to eat them quite frequently due to being an avid runner. So for a few bites to make my tummy hurt like that, really shocked me.

I love fruit. I've said it more than once that if it were healthy to become a "fruititarian" I would. I've researched it and it could work for me..but again, I don't think it's the healthiest. To consume tons of one particular food group instead of having a good balance is never a good idea. 

Ok..it's way late. I'm sure I have more to say but can't think of it at the moment because it's well past my bedtime. And to touch on that and tattle on myself a little--I haven't been getting to bed by 10:30pm like I promised myself I would starting at the beginning of this year. 

Peace out and sweet dreams my fellow readers.

Day 5 & 6..

Ok..so yesterday (Day 5) I was a bit busy..and didn't even make time to blog before bed. Whoopsie! Whatever..anyway..I'm trying to think back and the only thing that really pops into my brain about yesterday was that I tried to make that chocolate mousse stuff with the thick coconut milk and cocoa powder and it was a complete flop..and that really ticks me off because when it comes to stuff in the kitchen..ESPECIALLY desserts..I don't make flops. But it really didn't turn out..it was more soupy than anything..even after trying to refrigerate it and everything. But it's thick enough to dip apples in, so it's not a complete waste. Hmmm..let's see..what else happened yesterday that's blog-worthy? Umm...yeah. Guess that's about it.

Today, Day 6 was pretty much the same as yesterday. With a little less veggies...until the evening. I didn't feel like cutting up, peeling or washing anything..so I really didn't have any veggies until dinner. And that's when I overloaded..on brussels sprouts. I roasted them with olive oil, pepper and red pepper flakes. They turned out amazing! Even the hubby..who claims to HATE brussels sprouts--really liked them. Yay. I also let him try my fantasticly delicious coconut butter and he wasn't that big of a fan. Neither was the mini Lemons. She totally thought she was getting a bite of frosting..because to her (since I bake so much!) she thinks whenever I'm doing anything in the kitchen, have my mixer out and baking cupboards open, that I'm making frosting. Ha!! Can you tell that I LOVE baking? And frosting! So yeah..she wasn't too impressed with the coconut butter. In fact, she gagged and spit some out on her jammies. Ha! Oops. I guess it's an acquired taste? Whatever. She's not even 4yrs old yet..what does she know? :) 
Oh I did try out the licorice root tea this afternoon---2 thumbs DOWN. *Insert barf noise here* Yeah..I'm not a big fan of "chai" flavored stuff..so I should have known this wasn't for me. But I tried it, it sucked and I'll give the rest of it to my sis who loves that kind of stuff.
Ah--I almost forgot! I weighed myself (which normally I haven't been doing as often since I don't really care what the # says as long as my clothes aren't tight) and I finally got a new battery for my scale the other day and didn't really like the numbers, but I remembered them, updated it on myfitnesspal (lemons092906 is my username if you want to add me!). I got on it this morning and was down almost 2lbs. Yay me! Normally I have to work my ass off for every single ounce I lose, but I think it's the lack of sugar that's helping. So that was a nice bright spot in my day. I'm still not exactly where I want to be weight-wise, but like I said..it's all about how I feel and how my clothes fit. I've focused too much of my life on what the scale says. It ruled my life for the longest time. Now, I don't care as much and it's not going to make or break me or my day. Numbers are numbers and I know what I need to do. 
I'm really proud of myself for the weight that I've lost over the years. It's been quite the journey. I'm still on it, just on a different path now..and that's maintaining my weight. That's the toughest part, I think. Especially for me now since I haven't been able to run in months and months. So, not gaining a ton of weight since my surgery and being able to pretty much (more or less a few pounds) maintain my weight loss for 2yrs--is pretty damn good to me!
At any rate--I'm still surviving this silly detox. I'm not sure if the sugar monster is shrinking quite yet..more so she's just in hiding. Either way..I'm still doing it. And I haven't killed anyone....yet.


SWEET DREAMS.

Day 4..more, more, more.

More, more, more--as in--I bought some coconut butter and HOLY BALLS ALIVE that shit is freakin' good. I found it for a cheaper price at Hyvee versus my go-to store, Pomegranate. It was $11-ish at Hyvee and $14-ish at POM. So..I decided to buy some today. Because with all the various sugar detox/paleo blogs and forums I've been reading I've found quite a common thing that alot have been "oohing and ahhing" over and that's coconut butter. Most claim to eat it straight outta the jar with a spoon..so of course, this totally sounds like me..and that's why I bought it. I did my research on it though before I bought it. There are 2 different brands I was considering.. one is made by Artisana and the other is made by Nutiva. One is raw the other isn't. From what I've read the only difference is one feels "grainy-er" or more fibrous than the other. Do a google search for both brands, read up on it and choose. I will most likely end up buying the other brand when this jar is gone just to see if I can spot any differences. At any rate, coconut butter RULES. In fact, it may be downright dangerous. Tasty..as my almost 4yr old would say. :) But..there is a bit of work involved with said "butter." Its solid when you buy it. And then you need to warm it to be able to stir it and eat it. So--here I am, putting this jar of luscious coconut butter in a bowl of hot water. I don't know about you and how patient you are..but I'm not. At all. Especially not today when I got home after running errands and was freakin' starving. All I wanted was the damn coconut butter. After changing the water about 4 times and stabbing at the "butter" with a spoon and then a knife (butter knife..don't get all worried..I'm not gonna cut a bitch over some damn coconut butter. Ha!) but it was still solid. I didn't want to keep waiting so I filled up my teapot and got some REALLY hot water going. That did the trick. I think from what I read while I was impatiently waiting for the "warm" water to melt it was that it will melt at 80 degrees and solidify at 68 degrees..or 61 degrees..frick, I can't remember. Google it. (I'm obsessed with googling stuff. I could and probably should list it as one of my favorite things to do. No joke.) So after stirring this amazing smelling (I'm obsessed with all things coconut from way back..) stuff it's finally ready. I'm nervous to take a spoonful of anything that claims to be "butter" so I grabbed a kid-size spoon and dove in. Definitely needs to be eaten slowly, tasted and then tasted some more. It's not something you're going to sit (or in my case, stand!) there and shovel this stuff in your mouth like melting ice cream or anything. Trust me. I'm a former fatty and I could and have done things that would leave some people in complete awe, disgust or scared. Either way..you won't be able to cram tons in your mouth...hahaha..that's what she said (or he said!) I freakin' love The Office. 
The texture is good, it's thick, but spreadable if you chose to go that route. Although with this detox I'm not sure what you'd spread it on. If I weren't detoxing and had no conscious I would get some sort of crunchy cookie, Nilla Wafers and eat my weight in coconut butter slathered cookies. But, my brain got the best of me after I took a few small bites--I looked in the jar and instead of seeing coconut butter, or better yet, yummy frosting..I pictured it to be lard. Ugh. Why in the H do I do that to myself? So..needless to say, the lid went back on and it was promptly put in the cupboard....until a few hours later. Ha! Seriously--I said at the beginning--more, more, more.

So yeah. Now that I've dedicated this entire blog to my newest love interest, coconut butter, and that I feel like Paula Deen because I was eating butter with a fricken spoon..I think I'm done talking about that.

I did get a shitload of veggies while I was out. I got cauliflower, brussels sprouts, romaine, green peppers, avocados (albeit technically a fruit), tomatoes, broccoli, squash, zucchini...can't remember what else. 
So yeah..I made it through another day. I'm still not a fan of this. I wish that I was but I'm a sugar addict. I quit smoking cold turkey. I quit drinking for about 3yrs too. (Not that I was ever an alcoholic, but I did it for many reasons..) But sugar..man, it's something else. I swear I should start a support group that meets everyday, someone tells a story, we all listen and at the end pray together and each of us has a sponsor to call when we're about to crack. I was seriously whining like a big overgrown child about wanting a flavored fizzy water or some crystal light. I was quite the sight today. That fake sugar is a bitch to breakup with! Fake sugar and sugar monster are banding together and making this extremely difficult to do that. But I'm still chugging along. I did end up getting some different kinds of tea. I read about licorice root tea being really good and also peppermint tea. So I bought both..the peppermint tea was ok. Kinda like you dunked an altoid in hot water. I have yet to try the licorice root tea, but from the info that I found it's a great after dinner tea if you're used to something sweet. So..I'll report back on that..if I remember.

SWEET DREAMS.

ps..I bought the Artisana brand of coconut butter and the tea brands I'm trying out are from Stash. Google 'em if you want to find out more..and PS..I'm way sorry that I mentioned "naughties" like Nilla Wafers. But if you know me at all..I'm never really sorry..so I guess I'm sorry I'm not sorry. 

Ok, seriously. That's enough. 

UNSWEETENED DREAMS. 

Day 3...

Day 3 can effing bite me. Today started out a bit better..I think..if I can think back that far. Seriously..it's been quite the day..filled with more drama than this mama can handle. Kids, work, miscellaneous bullshit, unnecessary crap, more kid stuff, blah, blah, blah..yeah. It was quite the stressful day. And I actually said to myself (out loud, of course!) damn I'm stressed..I could totally eat a few humongous bowls of cereal right now. And to be honest..if I wasn't so busy, I probably would have. Being home all the time has its perks, but also has its drawbacks. I didn't realize it until my youngest started school. 
So..yeah..stress. And really wanting to stress eat. And then I really wanted to have a bottle..I mean..glass of wine. Ha! But neither of those things happened. 
My day 3 of eating was pretty much the same--eggs, almond butter, carrots, celery, cheese, a few crackers (LOVE THOSE Mary's Gone Crackers!), almonds, a green apple, and tomatoes and zucchini. I made one of the dinner things out of the manual tonight with the zucchini and tomatoes. I used my veggie peeler on the zucchini and made it into strips (like fettuccine)  until I got to the seeds in the center, put that in a pan with some garlic, olive oil and red pepper flakes. Cooked that and then took it out of the pan and put in a few chopped roma tomatoes with a bit more garlic and red pepper flakes. Heated those and then topped the zucchini with it and sprinkled some grated parmesan on top. It was pretty freakin' amazing! I'm so happy that my hubby will eat anything I cook because this is like a pasta dish..and I'm not a fan of pasta at all--so this will work even if I wasn't doing this "delightful" detox. 
I'm pretty sure I was less irritated today in regards to not having sugar..either that or the irritation was focused more on all the ridiculousness that transpired today. I'm not gonna lie though--the nighttime is hard when I'm sitting here--doing work or other things and I'm used to having a sweet snack. I've done all the things you can do to help curb that sweet snacking craving at night--believe me. I've lost 180lbs to prove that I'm well versed in the "tips and tricks" of willpower, weight loss and whatevers..so yeah.

Anyway--it's bedtime sugar bears.

SWEET DREAMS.

Day 2..evening.

Well, my post from this morning was indicative of how the day transpired..and let's just say it wasn't very pretty.
I was quite irritable and hungry today. I ate. I drank water. I always drink water. I love my insulated Klean Kanteen so much that it's an extension of my hand. Maybe it was because I haven't been eating big meals..just little ones. However, my best guess is that it was the "sugar monster." I feel that I should put SUGAR MONSTER in all caps because seriously..that bitch was pissed off today. The "sugar monster" is no one to mess with when you deprive her. She's an addict. Hardcore addict. I think that she would have eaten an m&m off of the disgusting, dirt-filled, pee soaked snow if I would have let her. Seriously. 
But, I managed to overcome and ignore her madness for yet another day. I made a special trip to my favorite health food store this afternoon and picked up some avocados, eggs, coconut milk and seed crackers (called Mary's Gone Crackers--which are AWESOME.) And for dinner this evening I made some guacamole and had a few crackers with that and a few eggs. It's not getting much easier for me to eat whole eggs. I'm hoping that by the end of this that I will be able to report differently. It's an aversion I've created myself in my own brain. Ha! It's probably half of the reason I'm a vegetarian. 
At any rate--it's my bedtime. Another part of this challenge is I'm making myself get back into the bedtime that I used to adhere to pretty strictly a few years ago. I know first hand that getting enough sleep is crucial to every single aspect of life. So, with that..I'm putting myself to bed and hoping that the "sugar monster" is a bit more docile tomorrow.

Sweet Dreams.